Marriage is not a 50/50 Compromise


When I was six, my parents were divorced. It was sad. It impacted me enough that I vowed that divorce would never be an option for me. I tried to do it all by MY POWER. And then I figured out that God agreed, but had a different way for me to handle it. HE could lead. I am passionate about marriage and am willing to share how God has helped my marriage.

Here’s an example. When I got married, I used to think, “My marriage is great. We have a 50/50 arrangement so we each get to participate in our decisions.” If my wife went on a girl’s trip, then I was allowed to go on a guy’s trip. If she spent $100 on herself, then I got to spend $100 on myself. That may sound good, but I have seen quite a few marriages fail by following the 50/50 compromise rule. By God’s Grace I figured out at some marriage retreat years ago that marriage is a 100/100 agreement, not a 50/50 compromise. It saved our marriage, I am sure. I give 100% to my bride, and she gives 100% to me. It works so much BETTER! Part of my 100% for my wife is asking her what SHE would like to do, or accomplish, or eat for dinner. And I get behind that. Guess what? She ends up doing the same for me. That mindset is contagious most of the time, though sometimes when it feels one-sided, I have to ask God to help me continue to be His example even if it feels unfair. THEN it turns around.

If you would like to talk about marriage, I would be happy to. I am NO COUNSELOR, but I do agree that we can sharpen each other and it’s always helpful to get the Holy Spirit’s perspective through another Christian.

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